so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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