Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
