she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
