I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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