just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
please don't ironically join a cult
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