If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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