She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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