Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
