Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
