he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
