k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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