He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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