i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently you make a good broom.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
