yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My penis needs a shock collar
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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