I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
