I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
