in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
