Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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