He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
