I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize