I skipped work to stalk him.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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