I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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