I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
