I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
