did you get engaged???
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
