I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize