he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
