Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
