Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she pinky promised me she was 18
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
