Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
