I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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