C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
