i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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