I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
