whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
