I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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