Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
