Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
