How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
