Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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