Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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