Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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