i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will pee on everything he values.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
