Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
