i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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