ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
