perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
