I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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