we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she smelled like a LAN party
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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