How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
