How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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