I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
