kristin has been a bad kristin
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
