Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
