it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
