You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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