you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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