if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
