I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My vagina just recognized that song.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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