someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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