The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
