Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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