When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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