I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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