Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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