Who wears a wallet chain?!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize