Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
