He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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