i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
