Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize