So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
