hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
