shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
