And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
