she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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